Maybe it’s because I’ve been in ministry for the last 7+ years or just where I now live in the Midwest, but I’ve noticed something about people the more I get to know them, lately: in this day and age, we are getting offended so easily.

It could be a social media thing or it could be the fact that I have been shifting my responsibilities to be less task-based and more people-focused, I’ve noticed another thing: as a whole, we need thicker skin.

Now, I wrestle with that sentiment because I want to still convey the love of Christ, but at the same time, there is a time for disliking something (and moving on) and there is a time to (this has gone too far) shut. it. down.

Odds are that you should rarely shut. it. down. But many do.

Example 1 – Do you like Michael Jackson’s music? If you know what good music is, you probably do, but did you know that all those nasty rumors of his pedophilia were being corroborated and practically proven true? I know some people have said: “I will never listen to his music again because I will not support pedophilia.” Wow. What a jump in logic. I’ll assume the same person won’t ever drive a car because they don’t want to support anti-semitism (Ford helped pave the way for how cars are made today, but publicly hated Jews) or they won’t turn on any light ever because they don’t want to support thievery (although Edison is commonly miscredited as the inventor of the lightbulb, he was sued for tons of patent infringements; in fact, Edison was hated within his industry). I know Michael Jackson didn’t invent music, but he did invent his own style, so go with me here on a crazy thought experiment: I think it’s possible to love something even if you dislike what the maker did.

Example 2 – I hate to bring up politics (ever), but you probably hate Trump. If you don’t hate Trump, you’ve probably hated something he’s done. You probably are offended by the things he does/says/Tweets or, on the flip side, you constantly have to defend/rationalize the offensive things he does. But did you know that he does good things, too? He is a PR nightmare, we all get it, but he has done some right, too – look it up, you might be surprised. I was.

I’m building up to something: we are an imperfect people with imperfect pasts and we do stupid things, but for whatever reason, people have tended to throw out the baby with the bath water (I’ve always found that expression morbidly hilarious to picture in my mind – seriously? You didn’t notice the baby?!?).

If you do something stupid or mean or bad, there is a good chance someone in your life will dismiss you, whatever you’re affiliated with, your family; they will dismiss you and ignore you and equate you to “everything that is wrong in this world.”

Now you might be thinking, “Okay, Tyler – but I’m no Michael Jackson or President Trump; the parallel is a bit far-fetched.” And you’d be wrong. There has probably been someone in your life where you not only had a falling out, but the way the falling out was told is filled with all the nasty, gruesome details – to make you feel better.

I get that relationships and preferences change. I do. But what I’m suggesting here is that we might have a better time if we think a little less… dualistically. If a chapter closes on a friendship or you decide one day you dislike what a celebrity did, maybe you don’t have to hate them, but you can just dislike/hate what they did, maybe respect them for what they did do that was good, and move. on.

There is a chance you’ve heard this parallel, before, but I would challenge you (even if you’ve never considered the Bible to have worth) to try this. First – the original.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

K. Now insert your name.

[your name] is patient, [your name] is kind. He/she does not envy, he/she does not boast, he/she is not proud. He/she does not dishonor others, he/she is not self-seeking, he/she is not easily angered, he/she keeps no record of wrongs. [your name] does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. They always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.

[your name] never fails.

Odds are inserting your name doesn’t make it true, but it’s worth trying to be that version. It’s worth going the extra mile to love people.

Love people.

“But Tyler! You don’t know what this person has done to me! It’s unforgivable! They also use the word ‘literally’ all the time! It’s literally the worst!”

Well, this is where the “thick skin” rationale can seem a little insensitive, but stop it. What good is it going to do to harbor that much hate and constantly spend that time to think about the pain (that in the grand scheme of life, is probably forgivable)? How is it going to make your daily life any better?

After all, good people can and will do bad things. Bad people can and will do good things. Odds are, you consider yourself the former; now go and treat others that way, too, k?

Good talk.